Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
we're so committed to being not committed
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize