You work out of a Hotel?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
The air was thick with penises
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
