do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
