One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
