Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
