People with herpes should wear stickers.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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