I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize