a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
