he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
