I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize