I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
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I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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