her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
