opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
