you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
