I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
home. puking in laundry basket.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
