Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
