'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
