I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
