The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i would one night stand the shit outta him
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
