he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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