I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
