The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize