At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
