dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
