JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
