if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
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He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
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Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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