I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
