and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
