there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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