that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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