just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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