I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Oh god it's open bar.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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