If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Randomize
