I'm eating all of the evidence.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
