in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
