She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
