if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize