yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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