I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
