Your mouth is God's brothel.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
