Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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