I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
