I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
