and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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