The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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