I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
God gave him joint rollers for hands
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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