She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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