to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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