Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
