I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
