Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
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Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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