I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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