Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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