dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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