I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
