Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
worst night to have a conscience
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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