Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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