I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
