There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize