so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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