He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Randomize
